How you doing? Good.
How am I doing? Wait, hold on, uhmm…I know what it's like
during that split second where I have to decide
to be honest or lie put on a good face smiling
when in reality things inside are a mess.
I wanna appear strong when I am powerless,
and I stress 'cause this bogus persona facades my pride
endorsing my sin to continue within me
ultimately ripping me off from the truth in my life.
I who am known as a "believer," yet now as a phony deceiver,
self-righteous achiever, or more like failure,
because I'm not mutually encouraged by your faith,
nor you by mine at times that I fake it.
Please don't mistake it; what I try to do is break this
false belief that without each other I'm able to make it;
nahh ’cause I can't, yet instead I try to pretend
limiting the Gospel's influence within. You know what I mean by
lacking transparency with no honesty left in the
conversations I have I rob myself inwardly
by denying you a chance to speak truth into my life
and encourage me where I need it most definitely.
I might be anxious, but act like everything is cool,
put on a good face with hopes I'm not bothered by you,
make sure that no one knows what I am going through,
but I forget that I need someone to tell me God's truth.
I need to hear that God is sovereign and has a good plan
for the lives of those who love Him, I need to listen
something that's rooted in the Gospel, examples given;
that I need to see the faith of others so that I can
persevere through times of anxiety and fear,
or I could just pretend seemingly protect myself from those who are near
who look at my stare, are fully aware, of my despair,
offering care, willing to share my burden and take it upon them
and give me support with their prayer,
yet I deny it and remain reluctant as if I lost my sense of Christ-like zeal for each other,
and by not being real windup sabotaging my own spiritual life and no other.

But not only that I loose the gospel influence within;
the outward influence also gets diminished by my sin,
because I can't offer you anything that's real
besides the fakeness that is in me finding its appeal.
Yet the best resource for speaking into other's lives
is sharing what God is doing in me; the fruit He's bringing up inside,
but too bad the fruit I let ya'll see is often plastic;
looks good from a distance, but nourishing no one; that's tragic.
Yet I know that the gospel allows me to be real;
admitting me as a sinner who through Christ become ideal,
establishing me a saint, in the local church I'm placed
so I can get a taste of a community without any fakes
'cause that's the one true place where my true face could be shown
knowing that God's sufficient grace will cover all my wrongs;
I just need to admit who I am and where I’m at and stop pretending;
serve others in the body of the church until we reach the ending.

Now I know many hear this beat and are like nahh!
Well sorry for being my real self with no facade,
didn't wanna preach to the choir but this applies to both you and I
so by the grace of God may we live honest and transparent lives.
Note to self.